I think it was Eden Riley from Edenland who said ‘the blogosphere is like the Wild West’.
Well, this week I felt like hanging up my boots.
Starting this blog was a huge deal for me.
Determined to keep my online life separate from real life, my blog was to be a space for me to work through some of the shit that should have been dumped a long time ago.
I read lots advice before I began.
One quote stood out:
“Write as if no one is reading”
Mmm, I thought. Yes I can do that. I mean who’s going to read my baloney anyway?
I was spurred on to write thoughts I would never share in real life (still at the ‘can’t show the crazy too soon’ stage).
But this week I learnt a painful lesson. You cannot write a blog as if no one is reading, because someone is. And not always the person you are expecting.
My words hurt someone (unintentionally I should point out) from my real life. I felt, and still feel, terrible about it.
It was a huge reality check.
There is no way I can keep my two lives separate. I’m not sure why I ever thought it possible. Maybe because I prefer my on-line self? Who knows.
I cannot control who reads my blog. (this is especially hard for a control freak like me). I cannot control assumptions people make about what I have written. The fear that mistakes that I will inevitably make will be seized upon, words criticised and ideas ridiculed has stopped me from pressing ‘publish’ many times before. Now, that feeling is stronger than ever.
I’m just not brave enough to write as if no one is reading. I care far too much what others think of me. (yes, lame, I know)
I’m not sure I’m cut out for blogging. Maybe I should stick to gin.
What are your thoughts about on-line life versus real-life and blogging?