It’s happening again.
Activities I have been looking forward to, suddenly loom like insurmountable obstacles, to be avoided at all costs.
The Black Dog is whispering in my ear.
“Who do you think you are?”
“What makes you think you can do this?”
“Is anyone really interested in anything you have to say?”
I swear I can hear the fucker laughing at me.
I can’t breathe.
Trying to ignore him, I realise the voice is coming from inside my own head.
My brain, conditioned over so many years, is playing its favourite tricks.
You are not good enough.
“She may as well stop coming to ballet you know, she’s getting too tall”
“It’s a shame really, her sister is so pretty”
“Why do you have to look like him?”
“You can’t do that”
“Depression lies” a good friend told me.
It probably does.
But she’s still here. The tall, gawky girl, who sometimes talks too much and too loudly, scared of doing or saying the wrong thing.
Still trying to find out whether or not she’s good enough.
Today is World Mental Health Day – raising public awareness of mental health issues. Depression affects 350 million people worldwide.
It’s time to end the stigma.