Play Nice!

Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman. Oh Yes, Tammy, I hear you!

I’m not talking about unequal pay, tits in family newspapers, or arseholes making it unsafe for women to walk the streets at night.

I’m talking about the unrelenting bile that some members of my sex think it’s ok to project over their peers.

Yesterday one of my friends went to watch her daughter complete in a sporting event. She overheard one of the other mum’s declaring,  “I don’t like that mum in the mini skirt”.

My friend was the mum in the mini-skirt and had never spoken to the woman making the comment. Ever.

What the hell*? (*you know what I really said, yes?)

A few years ago, I was a little on the heavy side. Ok I was fat. I thought I was happy.

The Saint wasn’t complaining, but one day as I was pegging out my jeans next to the The Saint’s which were half the size, I decided I didn’t like it any more. I wanted to be healthier.

Please note, I did not wake up thinking “I’m going to get skinny, make the rest of you feel bad and steal your partners”.

However, the reaction I got from some women as I began to lose weight made me think I was wearing a t-shirt bearing that very statement.

Women I considered friends were openly looking me up and down in the playground, asking “How much weight have you lost NOW?”,  barely concealing their disdain.

My favourite comment came from another woman in my social group “You don’t want to lose too much weight at your age you know, because it will go off your face and that’s not good as you get older”.


If you ask any woman around you, on any given day of the week, she will have similar stories. Of judgement, scorn, bitchiness and unreasonable dislike received from the so-called “sisterhood”.

Is this behaviour hard-wired into us? Are we biologically programmed to compete against all other females in the pack in our quest to find a dude with A grade sperm? If so, you can have him.

It’s the 21st century. We can have babies by ourselves if we want. The competition for the eligible caveman is over.

So Ladies, I asking telling you to stop. Pour a bloody gin and get over yourselves.

Let’s not make it any harder to be a woman than it already is.


6 thoughts on “Play Nice!

  1. I am guilty of being incredibly jealous of friends/family who have lost weight. I think I’ve been on my very, very best behaviour and outwardly shown excitement for them & told them how great they look, while on the inside I died a little, wishing I could get my act together to do the same. I am now down 8-10kgs (depending what scale you go by!) and find a few of my friends not that excited for me. But you know what, I’ve worked hard for it, and it sure hasn’t happened overnight. My guess is the woman who made the comment was insanely jealous that your friend can pull off a mini skirt when maybe she couldn’t? It’s been my experience that comments like that are born of jealousy, not real hate (except for themselves!).

    • I feel a bit ‘out of my comfort zone’ commenting on this issue, being a bloke! But I wanted to say, ColousOfSunset, that I thought your comment showed real moral fibre and it’s a shame more people can’t be as honest as you.

      Closer to home, my wife encountered all the things that are discussed in the post when she went through a similar change in weight and shape – also achieved mostly through running.

      It shouldn’t matter what anyone looks like. It should be ok to be ‘fat’ and be happy about it. Likewise, if someone wants to lose weight, change shape etc, we should all just chill the f*ck out about it.

  2. How exhausting must it be to live such a negative and nasty way. Why do so many people feel the need to equalise by being snippy or spiteful? I agree that in this modern age, the pursuit of the penis is not even close to the top of the to-do list

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