Happy Aussaversary!

Today is the 1st anniversary of our arrival in Melbourne.

Woah! What a ride. I’m sure I should have been issued with a safety helmet.

It has been, in equal measure, the most thrilling and terrifying, happy and miserable, relaxing and exhausting year of my life. It is put strain on our marriage and made us question our sanity, but in spite of all the black moments, we know we made the right decision for our family.

In the UK The Saint had been commuting from Brighton to London for 15 years. In winter he left for work in the dark and returned home in the dark. The children saw him for half an hour just before bedtime. We were in a rut.

One evening while on our summer holiday, we had one of those wine-fuelled conversations, “what are we doing?” “where are we going?”. The subject of moving overseas was raised. We loved the idea but were unsure of how to make it happen.

Three months later The Saint’s job came up in Sydney. Same company, same job, but in Australia. Fate had intervened.

It was very stressful year in the run up to leaving the UK. Medicals, worry that we would be denied a visa because of Boy Wonder’s Asperger’s, and the doozy of them all our beloved Granny B being diagnosed with cancer and passing away 6 weeks before we left the UK.

Nothing could have prepared us for the emotional experience of leaving friends and loved ones behind and I was very naive when I arrived:

“Oh, you mean I’m not the first Pom to move here?”

“Oh, you haven’t all been waiting for me to come into your lives and be your amazing new friend?”

There have been some set-backs – I was unable to pursue my studying and – yikes- Australia, you are sooooo expensive! Plus the hard graft that goes into working out the new system for a child with Asperger’s has been draining.

In spite of it all, we LOVE it here!

In a nutshell:

Tim tams, Cherry Ripe (dark chocolate), sunshine, sea, daddy around more – YAY!

Vegemite- No. I’m sorry, I persevered for 4 months, but no. Marmite is my one true love.

There are plenty of forums and websites our there catering for those expat needs, but here are my tips on surviving the move:

DO’s:

1. Check blogs and forums before you arrive, researching as much as you can. It will save you a lot of time if you can narrow down the areas and schools you are interested in. We only had 3 weeks to find somewhere to live and a new school. Not easy, especially with 2 boys in tow, raging jetlag and no idea what we were doing.

2. Use twitter! Oh my, it was a godsend! I found some great contacts.

2. Ask lots of questions when you arrive. Australians are a friendly bunch who love talking about their country and sharing tips on where to go/stay etc. Although, I was freaked out by number of times we were asked which AFL team we would be supporting, but then we did arrive in Finals week…(FYI The Saint goes for Demons, we go for Saints, ha!).

3. Treat it like a holiday. Explore! It’s a great, big country and you need to get to see as much as you can.

4. Keep busy. I don’t work (at the moment)  and once The Saint started his new job and the Boys started school the house felt empty. I helped out in Cheeky Boy’s class, only for an hour a week, but it gave me something to look forward to.

5. Join a club. It’s a great way to meet people. We joined a triathlon club.  The Boys enrolled in Nippers (Junior Lifesaving). An activity plus a social side. Good fun.

6. Say “YES!” to everyone who asks you for coffee. We all know good friends are hard to find and never more so when you are ‘new’. I likened it to digging for gold. You have to mine a lot of rocks, to find that nugget!

7. Look after yourself. I was completely unprepared for how the move would affect my mental health. It’s very common to feel low during a big life changing move. Seek support and advice from your doctor or via Beyond Blue.

8. Remind yourselves daily why you made the move!

DON’T

1. Underestimate the financial hardship of starting afresh. It will get better, but be prepared as you will have some large outlays to begin with for example a car, bond for house, school uniform etc.

2. Compare your new home unfavourably with the motherland. There are petty annoyances everywhere you live, but banging on about them with the citizens of your new country will alienate them. NO ONE LIKES A WHINGING POM.

3. Endlessly check up on Facebook/email what your friends back home are doing. Particularly if you are homesick. Too much looking back stops you looking forward.

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11 thoughts on “Happy Aussaversary!

  1. LMAO at “No one likes a whinging pom!” We sure DO NOT! Best find other POMs to whinge to and leave us Aussies out of it! It is such a big move – literally and figuratively! I lived on the other side of the world for 11 years, and didn’t even have a husband to go with me when I left, I was only 18. It’s hard to be away from family and friends and takes at least 2 years I reckon to truly settle in somewhere new. That said, when I moved back to Australia, it was just as hard to re-settle in for me as it was for my husband to settle in if not harder (he’s American). Congratulations on surviving your first year. I hope it only gets better and better from this point on!

  2. Hello! This sounds very familiar although I just moved across the ditch, from NZ to Australia. It’s been just over 5 years now and I still don’t feel at home, that in part is because I married my Aussie Block and spent 4 years out of that 5 having babies (two now dx with Autism). So I know it’s partly my own doing, staying home as much as I do as to why I haven’t ‘settled’ and found my network. But the fog is lifting and I think I should start over. LOVE LOVE LOVE your tips and will follow give some of them a shot! Aussie is a great place like you say, no regrets just underestimated the ‘process’.
    P.S We have Tim Tams in NZ…. but no sunshine LOL Converting to AFL & League from the Rugby Union nation NZ is was interesting, still don’t get AFL but love my league! And I’m a marmite girl too…. but have you noticed it missing in the supermarket lately? sob sob

  3. Whinging: if you want to hear an Aussie whinge just walk round London for a while. “Mate, this coffee is disgusting…. why is it always so cold….” Etc etc.

    Very hard not to sympathise with them, though.

    🙂

  4. Happy Aussaversary!! And congrats for wading through the first year and coming out the other side with a sense of humour! We have moved several times in our marriage and I always feel gutted at having to settle in to a new town, make new friends, find the best place to buy coffee…as a little warning Do Not move across the country when your firstborn is just 2 wks old.. it will turn ugly.
    Keep mining for those gold nuggets, and keep your loevly self on twitter, you are part of my twitter-tribe and I couldn’t do without you guys xxx

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