I am a ‘sweary Mary’.  I try not to swear around my children. I definitely do not swear AT my children (well, hardly ever).

Nevertheless, my children have heard me swear. Try not swearing when stepping on Lego with bare feet.

In adult company I often drop the f- bomb. If I am VERY cross drunk about the patriarchy I have been known to break out the c-bomb. It’s not big and it’s not clever. It’s just lazy. Secretly though, I do love a good swear.

Picture this peaceful Sunday scene. I am with my boys in the back garden. We are washing the rabbits (as you do). They are singing and humming some tunes.

“Motherfucker” sings Cheeky Boy.


Motherfucker isn’t one of my swear words.

I quiz CB. He looks at me blankly. Both boys say sweetly “But it’s in the song”. “Which song?” I shrill.

“The Nicky Minaj one”.

Forgive me while I drag my soap box into the arena.

Oh Nicky Minaj. The one I describe to Boy Wonder as “Highly Inappropriate”. (I sound quite headmistressy when I say it.) If you haven’t heard of her, she performed that charming song You Stupid Hoe.

She isn’t the only one I have a problem with. Rhianna, Katy Perry, Gaga, they all use language and imagery that I think is inappropriate for my children.

Here’s little old me trying to instill some respect for women into my boys, only for them to be bombarded with words and images from female singers that make me blush.

I am all for “girl power” and sticking it the “The Man”, but can they put some clothes on and tone down the language?

Yes, I know I sound like someone’s mum.

P.S. we have a taken steps to block unsuitable material from Youtube. Have you had to do  the same?


4 thoughts on “The MOFO

  1. About two weeks ago, my seven year old son jumped out on my from a corner (you know the way kids do when they want to surprise you and shout ‘boo’).

    He didn’t shout ‘boo’ though.

    In a put-on voice that sounded like a cross between Chef from Southpark and any Samuel L Jackson movie character, he shouted: “Surprise, mutha sucka!”

    I almost swallowed my tongue trying not to laugh.

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